Toward the end of my day I bumped into a newly married couple. As I approached them I was very excited for their new journey. MARRIAGE!!!!
I was asked how long have I been married and then it came… The question about our first year of marriage. Now while this answer flows out without hesitation for me it is almost as if time had stopped. This question always causes reflection for me. I think of how stupid I was, how unprepared I was all the-while thinking I knew exactly what I was doing.
Do you know what I am talking about? How many times when we are starting any journey we think we are prepared for the road ahead. Then when we hear from someone who has traveled the road, especially if they have had a negative experience, we think “nah, that wouldn’t be me” I’m different.
Marriage is this revealing, joyous, painful, stretching journey. Many get “married” because of their emotions but emotions don’t care for commitments and when marriage gets tough and love isn’t felt can one stay married?
Here is a thought from a book we are reading:
No one plans to divorce. No one would consciously stand at the altar saying, “I’ll give this a try for a day or two, and if I don’t like it, then I’ll just get a divorce.” Yet many couples begin the divorce process well before the marriage begins. It can happen as simply as both parties believing that a marriage is forever but also highly disposable like a diaper or a used car. Or it can begin soon after the marriage, when one person assumes, He or she is supposed to make me happy. And if I’m not happy, it is always and fully the other person’s fault.
Marriage, like a journey, can get just a few compass points off, and in a fairly short time it will stray from the path we are meant to follow and miss the destination we are designed to pursue. It may be as simple as this: if you don’t know where you are going, you will never arrive. And if you don’t know how to get there, then even knowing where you are meant to go will do you little good.
If marriage is like a journey then are both people working together to ensure that everyone arrives safely to the agreed upon destination? Are we seeking the best for our spouse OR are we fighting for our own desires?
It is on this journey in which I have learned so much about myself and even more about God. While I didn’t get to share all of this with that couple and they may not have even wanted to hear all of this, I found myself thinking these thoughts and praising God for the journey I am on.