Have you ever had a time in which your mind was working over time? It’s like you just kept thinking about things? Important things, silly things, things that may never even happen. But somehow you were reacting to what you were thinking as if those “things” had all happened and it was a hot mess….
Well tonight (Saturday July 16) has been one of those nights for me. However my mind was stuck on the important things. I honestly have been thinking about things I have been connected/involved with over the last few months and the level of importance I have given them, versus their actual worth.
It is AMAZING the difference between the two.
So to say the least I have been feeling sub-par in various areas of my life. I have been feeling less effect with each passing day. More vulnerable, weaker, less dedicated, and a number of other things. I have truly felt like a failure.
So I began to pray, and seek direction from God. This is another area that just didn’t seem right, as I felt like I wasn’t making God my first love. While praying, I was heavily convicted on several things. I was broken, disgusted , ashamed, and down right empty.
So in times like these there are two things I do without fail. I reach for the scriptures and I listen to some worship music.
My attention was drawn to Psalm 51 and David’s struggle after a devastating sin, that he knew he shouldn’t have committed. David moves from confessing his sin before God to his desperate need of the Lord to stay close, renewing him from that which he had fallen.
BOY! That is me RIGHT NOW! I feel that with so many things I have fallen, and sometimes its hard to figure out where to start. David shows us, that we start with going before the Lord.
By the end of the Psalm David is able to speak of the impact that the Lord’s forgiveness will have in his life, as he will proclaim the gracious act to everyone.
My heart is very heavy, and has been for a while. However I am trusting that the Lord is continuing to make me into his imagine, and when I tarnish that imagine, upon presenting my broken heart and spirit seeking the Lord’s forgiveness while willing to turn from my ways, He will restore me.
My prayer is that when you find yourself in a similar place you can Look towards God, crying out to Him, trusting that God will deliver you from yourself 🙂 .
Proverbs 24:16 – for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.
One is only able to believe they can rise again when they are rooted in the Lord.
Psalm 51 v 7-12
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.