Just as I have started school there always came a point in which it ended. I have graduated several times now (5 times I believe), and this upcoming Saturday I will add another one to that list.

I will be graduating from Seminary with my Master of Divinity. I have been attending Baptist Bible Seminary since the fall of 2009. This graduate degree program was about 90 credit hours (if not just a bit more ) for me. Before I choose this institution I was looking at getting my Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology which at some schools was about a 60 credit hour degree. So we are talking a bit more work if you haven’t noticed. Nonetheless the last few years have been worth it. I have truly grown as a leader and as an individual.

This Saturday many people will be at this ceremony to see their loved walks receive their diploma. To be honest I really didn’t want to go. I have never wanted to go to my graduations. However this one is a bit different. I am proud to walk across the stage as I will be representing my family. My wife has sacrificed a lot for me to achieve this degree. She has support this goal from before we were married.

Yea, I really don’t care to be there for myself BUT I am honored to do so in light of her testimony. SO this Saturday I will be in Pennsylvania graduating one more time, but this time I will be with my lovely wife and child.

OH and P.S.

This won’t be my last graduation either

Somethings have changed do to an incredible journey I have been on…

I have really been working through issues of Race & Religion. I have shifted my reading to understand more about my cultural which will develop into learning about multiple cultural’s.

So here are some books I have worked through in the last two months and here are some I am working through…

Finished 

Building a Healthy Multi-Ethnic Church by Mark DeYmaz

United by Faith by Paul Curtiss DeYoung, Michael Emerson, George Yancey and Karen Kim Chai

Divided by Faith by Michael Emerson

The Color of Church by Rodney Woo

Currently working

You will notice that all the books listed in this section have all be started by I put down to finish the books above. My goal is that during the month of May I will finish these here so I can move forward with some other reading

Liberating Black Theology by Anthony Bradley (I need to pick this back up)

Freeman by Leonard Pitts Jr (I need to pick this back up)

Sacred Marriage: What if God designed Marriage to make us Holy more than to make us Happy by Gary Thomas (I need to pick this back up)

I look to update you some interesting fact from the books I finished since I clearly didn’t keep anyone posted that I even started them.

Most of these deal with a specific topic however if you have any book that you really enjoy feel free to share and I can certainly add them to my list.

It tends to happen this way. Have you ever gotten your hopes up about something, anything. It seems like there could be a glimmer of hope and then WHAM reality sets in and your stuck looking into space. Yes that was my morning. However that is ok because ducks help me put things into perspective.

You read that right DUCKS helped me. No I didn’t go to the zoo and play with the duck nor did I find random ducks to stalk them.

I was driving in my car along a pretty busy road. Here in Florida water is all around us and on one side of the side there was a little pond or something. I have driven on this road almost everyday for the last nine months. However today as I was driving I saw a momma duck and about six little ducks behind her. They made a mad dash through the busy street heading toward the pond. CRAZY, I thought as the mom made it without any real threat of danger but those babies aren’t as fast. They aren’t as nimble and worst they probably don’t even know where they’re headed.

Nonetheless they followed momma. They knew, she knew where she was going and so along they went. Sure car’s were on the verge of grounding them for life but they just knew they had to follow momma…

You know someone has to follow and someone has to lead. If all the ducks would have gone their own way no one would have made it. It is small little reminders like this that encourage me to keep pressing forward. So I may not have a firm grasp on what’s next, but come on, I know who does. Therefore I may not be able to see the pond but if this is the direction I am led then, across the busy street I go…

Who is leading your life? Are you following faithfully?

Last week I needed to get some blood work done for an upcoming doctor’s visit. If you know me, you know I dislike HATE needles.. URG Anytime I have to get blood work done there is like a 10 min conversation I need to have with myself before I get out the car so I can maintain my dignity.

SO about a week ago I walk in for this testing that needs to get done. I know most of the ladies in the lab since I was there like every other week at the end of last year… However this one lady I have never seen before. Now I am a pretty friendly guy so we begin making small talk as she grabs her instruments of torture . She then cleans my arm with the cool alcohol pad and I know it’s about to go down… She grabs the tool design to inflict pain while stealing my blood. I muster up enough courage to continue my conversation as she dives in…

After the initial sting everything seems fine… I began thinking silly guy you can do this it’s just a needle THEN IT HAPPENS

I began to feel this slow stinging pain from my elbow all the way down to my hand. I say “UMM I have this stinging pain and I assume this isn’t normal”

Her reply… “Oh! Sorry I must have hit a tendon”
WHAT are you kidding me??

Well since that day I haven’t been able to extend my arm fully. I get stinging pain still and it has been getting worst. I have been to see my doctor and a neurologist. They had to perform an ultrasound on my arm as well as an NCV (Nerve conduction velocity) which evaluates the function of the nerves in one’s body. Basically they send small electric pulses throughout my arm to see if things are working right.  They found that my arm is extremely inflamed but the nerves seem to be working fine…

So the neurologist gave me some med’s to help reduced the inflammation and some that will help with pain. LET ME TELL YOU these med’s are taking me for a doozy…. The side effects seem to be worst than the original pain. I mean seriously when you read what “may happen” as a result of taking the medication it is a bit extreme and then when you feel some of the effects it’s a bit scary. Nonetheless I need to take them…

SO all this is to say I really don’t like HATE needles and not sure if I like people who use them (just kidding…lol) So this last week it has been a bit crazy but I pray this will all be over soon. I have to wait about 2-3 weeks for the med’s to be done and to see if I need anymore testing done….

Inspiration can come from all around and this time it came from Ruth… Not the book of Ruth as in the Bible but from my lovely wife(not uncommon). In fact she should really be writing this blog. Everything I will say in the quoted section following really flows from her this time and the truth is I needed it. Let me give you a little background as the last two weeks have been exceptionally long! This time I didn’t handle things so well. I was very tired, low on energy, and slightly   extremely discouraged.  In fact one day in particular I received some several bits of information that really made my day feel a lot longer than 24 hours.

So as I got home my wife saw that I just wasn’t quite myself. After several attempts to not really make a big deal about things we finally discussed the cloud looming over me… Here is what she said

You know Thomas, do you remember when we went to the beach this past weekend? (Yes). Remember how every time the water came onto the shore you ran away because you didn’t want to get wet (my face smirked… Yes) God never promised we wouldn’t get wet. He promised he would provide for  our needs, He promised that he would never forsake us, but He never promise that we wouldn’t experience the pressure. In fact the water may rise a bit high. It may get to your knees, to your waist, to your neck even… Is not God still capable of saving you? (Of course) Then we can’t be discouraged yet. God is still faithful and hasn’t failed us yet, and I don’t believe He will start now… (More said but that is the gist of it)

PUNCH IN THE MOUTH

I will tell you what she was RIGHT! SO RIGHT…. I mean WOW… This is what I needed to hear exactly when I needed to hear it.

Often times when we find ourselves waiting on God to provide in any situation the days often seem longer than they have ever been. The truth is they are the same as they always have been. What has changed is we are learning the hard truth that we are dependent upon God, once again, to be our support and supplier of needs rather than our own strength and abilities.

As we stood in our kitchen and all this sunk in, I was like WOW… So humbled by the truth that, of course, God would provide. I felt like someone should have hit me in the forehead like a V8 commercial but if I would have said that to Ruth she would have done it . Then I was honored because my wife just BLEW my socks off. The truth she just revealed to me and encouraged me with was amazing.

How high has the “water” been rising in your life? Are you able to trust God completely with everything?

I am doing my Internship which runs from August 2012 – May 2013. I will graduate this May. So the question that is coming up now is “So what’s next?” “Where are you guys going?” What will you all do once you’re done?”

Well before we moved to Florida I was the Lead Pastor of a Church in Pennsylvania. I mention that because it was there that God really confirmed to us that is exactly what we need to be doing. It was an important two years of my life. So our goal is to find another place in which we can demonstrate genuinely God’s love and mercy that he has shown us.

Here is the kicker…. 

Where we are going, what we will actually be doing, and what is actually next is still a BIG MYSTERY to us… BUT not to GOD. Therefore I am not really worried. I mean sure there are times were I am like “hmm It would but fun to know” but the truth is there is great comfort know that the Creator of the universe has my future planned out.
Here is what I am working on…

I am learning how to be more patient. Merriam-Webster.com defines patience as bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint 

The truth is the way I want to look at having patience as a constant characteristic of mine. I want to be able to think clearly and trust that God will be faithful rather than panic every time something happen just to hit myself in the head later as if I should have had a V8.

Psalms 40:1 
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.

I have a firm belief that God will answer my prayers when He is ready… No reason to freak out or panic. I mean sure I can act that way BUT what will I gain in the process. Transition seems to be a part of life that people seem to not want to deal with. Change is inevitable yet we resist and fight it daily…

This in no way means that I am not doing my part and making sure we are ready for any transition that comes along. That would be unfaithful on our part.

SO overall I am saying… The only way I can answer the question that even we can ourselves sometimes ask is with a simple… Only God knows… I am doing what I can to prepare my family for tomorrow BUT ultimately He is in control. I do know this… When he moves us it will be the best move we could have possibly made

How do you typically deal with waiting? What are you learning/working on while you are waiting?

I remember hearing people say that when you have kids the time FLIES!!!! Well I believe that time literally grows wings and takes off because I can’t tell you where it has gone…

This Saturday my little Carmen will be two months old. WOW! I still remember taking her home. Now she is growing so well and so FAST!!! Well I thank God for all the time I get with her and how I get to watch her grow. She is a true blessing to us.

At home we have one of those boppy pillows and she used to LOVE it… BUT now she is getting too big for it. Her head control is so good that she doesn’t want to roll on that silly soft thing.. she wants to sit up and be supported… SO we began the search for some kind of seat thingy (bumbo seat). These are all the signs that she is growing up. I am happy for her. Growing up means she is doing what God intended her to do, live her life.

*SOAPBOX-SIDE-NOTE RANT*

I love when people try to give you the “wait and see what’s next” I want to yell SPOILER ALERT… DON’T TELL ME… LOL… I am enjoying every stage of my young daughter and young families life and her growing up is a part of that stage whether I want it to be or not. I thank God for it! *STEPPING DOWN*

Finally for your viewing pleasure here is a picture of Carmen when she was first put into that seat thing… She wasn’t quite sure what was going on…. Her face is priceless….

Either way I pray that you are enjoying the month that will bring you SPRING!!!! Now it may not feel like Spring yet depending on where you live but rest assure one day it will .

Just as it may be hard for those up north to believe Spring is around the corner it is hard for me to grasp that my daughter is 6 weeks old. I mean I can still remember bringing her home which feels like yesterday in a very good way!!

Last week or so my wife recorded a video of her rolling over and I wanted NO part of it. I didn’t want to face the reality of my daughter doing things that “big” girls do. I told her to stay this small baby for just a bit longer… Oh the troubles of a parent, bad enough I’m a first time dad!

I remember a time before Carmen was born I had made a statement about Ruth and I being a team and we will tackle this child raising responsibility together. Someone made the comment (Just wait till the first dirty diaper)… and everyone had a big laugh… well everyone expect my wife and I.

Well I must say we have come through our fair share of diapers all of them dirty and we have made it through Praise the Lord  however I have developed a way of thinking that has really helped me along the journey…

First, let me say that every time there is a diaper I am not RUNNING to changer my daughter, or I am not some nut who just is in LOVE with the idea of it all… I mean I will spare you the details but if you have had kids then you know THEY ARE DIRTY DIAPERS for a reasons… and if you haven’t had kids or changed one I’m sure you can still figure it out

However every time I pick Carmen up to go change her I think to myself this is Daddy/Daughter time. This is time you and I have together. I want to make the most of it. Sometimes we sing songs. Sometimes we play a little game she loves when I play “rub the baby”.  There are even times I have Momma come in just to be with us as a family. I realized that the moments in which people “dread” don’t always have to be bad. We can really make the best of things. So now every time Carmen has a dirty diaper I look forward to the priceless time I will get with her…

Here is the reality… At some point she wont need me in this way any more. Yes she will always be my daughter and need me to some degree but not like this. I don’t want to “dread” any of these moments because before I know it they will be gone. Instead of learning this lesson later I pray I can learn this now. I am not always great at this but I am trying to practice this everyday…

To be honest I am trying to implement this in everything I do with my family. I am learning to take each moment and make it count.

What moments are you making the most of?

As always I’d love to hear from you, feel from to let me know what you thought or even share the blog if you like and once again thanks for reading!

So this month I am writing a see you later blog…

I figured I could make up for it this way. You know how that goes. You miss out one something and so you try to make up for it. Sometimes we miss something and then next then you know time flies and more often than not we aren’t doing what we used to.

I was doing some heavy reflecting this month and I realized that it had been YEARS since I celebrated Black History Month. When I say years I mean almost 10. That’s a decade. Since I have been in an environment that Black History month was celebrated or where I participated in any kind of events.

The crazy thing is I remember the first several years I made a big deal about this. I was very unhappy that my new cultural environments didn’t seem to embrace what had been so important to me for… well forever. Now almost ten years later I have missed saying hello to the month and toward the end I have caught up to it…

I feel terrible. I feel horrible. To be honest I feel worst than that. There are several books I am reading that have kept me connected to issues than many people who just celebrate the month and the disappear for the rest of the year but nonetheless I let my environment or my lack of cultural support dictate my commitment to what I believe in and I didn’t even realize it.

How many times have we done that in life… Started with passion and then over time let life suck it out of you and eventually you end up on the other side of it all… You may know all the fact, you many have all the connects but you lack the passion and support. You no longer are concerned with the overall well-being for the cause…

Well here is to being on the other side! My time here has allow for great perspective on a very challenging issue and on that is close to my heart. Truth be told I think for me and my passion to be renewed I needed a trip on this side of town now I am ready to return understanding what I need to do…

What do you need to do in order to recapture you passion,

in order to reclaim your fire, in order to return from the other side and live life fuller?

Or

What about those times where you feel like people value the work someone did over the work you do?

Ever feel less valuable than another?

Just me huh? I have been having one of the weeks or should I say a few weeks. I just felt in a slump of sorts. However I had an amazing conversation with a wise man who reminded me that in God’s eyes He values all of His children at a 10. There are things I can do that others can’t and things others can do that I can’t and that is OK. (and then I took a DEEP BREATH)

I needed to realize that while it was ok to experience the feelings I had it wasn’t going to be ok if I let them overtake me. Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever been so overwhelmed by a feeling or issue that is has over taken you? I really needed to remember that God has a very special reason for what He does and he equips us for accomplishing this task.

So when these moments arise or these people who weren’t particularly helpful in the first place return I can be more confident the next time around know that my heavenly Father is pleased (as long as I am being faithful to HIM) with me and who I am therefore I should be happy with who I am!!!

What about you? How do you remind yourself to be happy with how God made you? Remember you are wonderfully made

Psalm 139